When it comes to dating, the well-worn phrase “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” rings true. Working as a relationship psychologist and global director of elite introductions agency Berkeley International means I work closely with both sexes to discuss what they look for in a partner, their feelings about dating and thoughts on the dates they have been on. What is abundantly clear is that women and men are programmed very differently and this is particularly obvious when they date. Below, I break down the key dating attributes I’ve observed over 15 years of matchmaking.
1. Women tell everyone
Whether the date has gone well or not, women can’t wait to tell their friends about it. Friends, family and colleagues will go through the date from start to finish: from the pre-date anxiety and what to wear, to the post-date debrief. Women are usually happy to reveal more personal information than men and will likely go into every single detail, from his shoes to the number of drinks they had to whether they kissed.
If the date has gone well, women want to show off and, if the date didn’t live up to expectations, they seek validation from their friends that he was the problem, not them. Men, on the other hand, do not like to share as many date details on their group WhatsApp. They don’t want to be made fun of for being too keen by their friends.
2. Women want men to take the lead
Although equality is important in every relationship, women secretly hark after traditional values and want a man to show his assertiveness. When speaking before the date, men should try to ascertain what sort of woman he will be dating – does she prefer bars, pubs or something off-the-wall? If unsure, I always recommend my clients to stick to classic location such as a nice cocktail bar – women like to be impressed.